Why Lonely People Should Embrace the Void Instead of Fill It

When Letting It Fall Apart is Actually a Power Move

Thank you for being here 🙏😊

Today I wanna tell you what’s on the other side of loneliness.

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There’s a trap we fall into when life starts to feel empty and melancholy.

We try to outsmart the suffering. We reach for dating sites. We reach for potions, creams, power, money…the high of being desired.

We tell ourselves, if I just get this one thing…if I look young enough, succeed loud enough, get chosen by someone amazing…then I won’t have to feel this ache.

But the ache doesn’t go away, even when we ‘succeed.’

Even when we ‘beat’ the void, resist the stillness, or run from the sacred pause.

You might not like hearing this, but the boring, empty, lonely pause is exactly what transmutes your pain into your next season of happiness— but you have to let it all the way in. Sadly, most people jump back into ‘doing’ and productivity and block the breakthrough.

I know, because I stalled my own breakthrough doing just that.

I was single and had been on the edge of something beautiful: solo dates with the Divine, writing in coffee shops daily, getting invited to be on podcasts, and meeting aligned people in real life.

I could feel the inner mutation working on me, reshaping me from the inside out. But I panicked. I got lonely. I defaulted to the old story that relationship equals success and being claimed equals being worthy.

So I went back to the familiar: dating sites, fantasy, and hope wrapped in performance.

And when I “got the guy,” I thought I did it. I’m finally her- the woman who’s chosen, the woman who wins!

Only to realize I had gotten high off an idea…not love.

I wanted so badly for it to be real. And yet 90% of what I loved was fantasy. It wasn’t love. It was a bunch of phone calls and a performance I didn’t realize I’d been cast in.

This is what happens when we try to fill the void instead of letting the void fill us.

Thankfully, it collapsed me into a deeper devotion. I’m back where I left off: dating the Divine, following synchronicities, giving myself time.

I’m free-writing again, creating videos with fresh ideas. Meeting people from a place of truth. I’m building a business that feels nourishing and alive- and I couldn’t have done it before because I wasn’t fully here yet.

Now I am.

I let the emptiness in. I let the loneliness air out. I let the grief of roles I tried to fit- trophy girlfriend, savior, performer- burn off my skin like old armor.

That’s the real power move.

Let the quiet in. Let the ache do what it came to do. Let the version of you that was always trying to be “good enough” die with dignity.

Let loneliness be a cocoon…a sanctuary…a sacred dark from which your soul starts to glow.

You are surrendering to the soil and letting yourself bloom from the rich, honest emptiness beneath it all.

xo,
Tara

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