2 Ways to Protect Yourself From Haters

Attraction Means Repelling Too

Thank you for being here and investing some of your time in my substack. 🙏😊 This photo was taken by Eddie Zombini.

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I recently put out a video and it performed better than any other video I’ve shared here. I expected it to get about 3-5 likes, but it ended up getting over 100. So that tells me 100 people watched it, and they felt inspired by it enough to click the ‘like’ button.

BUT this video ALSO brought up the most intense hate I’d ever seen. One man restacked it with a picture of a bottle of poison. Another guy commented a bunch of vomit emojis, twice! I got called ‘narcissist’ and ‘butter face’ LOL. One said he would never buy coaching from me.

This video was coming straight from my heart, was rooted in devotion, and was an attempt to be of service to men. Having it hated on teaches me that even when you’re altruistic, grounded, and selfless- some men will actually get triggered by your light.

You can apply this to anything, not just men (men happen to be my warmest audience so I am devoting to them).

Anytime you put LIGHT out there it will cast shadows…and people who live more in the shadows will see you as a problem.

The worst part about it is it hurt me emotionally and I felt low for about 2 days, ruminating on those dark attacks, whether real men or robots.

I integrated it with the calm light inside me and am now less bothered by haters. I’m more interested in helping anyone else who’s been made a target.

Solutions to Haters

Mentors and famous people say it’s important to have a loved one who can filter comments for you. In the past when I was dating an ex-law enforcement guy he would talk back at the male haters in my comments section, which I appreciated :)

Not all of us have someone in our corner to fight for us, and even if we do there will be times when they can’t come to our rescue.

Some people say ‘fuck the haters…you have to just block ‘em and not care.’ Well I think that’s a little callous. Sure, I can block them. Sure, I can mentally act like I don’t care, but I don’t wanna have to mask or pretend to be a hard-ass.

I am finding 2 tried and true, efficient solutions to haters:

1. FUEL. Use the material to generate new writing and content.
   
   All those nasty comments led me to produce this essay which hopefully will help others dealing with this problem.
   
   Often trollish comments entertain me to the point that I come up with a riff, or a psychological insight. Sometimes it points me to a blind spot that I can elaborate on. I get new epiphanies that I can share with people who DO respect my work and want to hear more.

   
   Get fuel by screenshotting crazy comments and using them to entertain your own audience. Share them in your stories with your own commentary. People love seeing your journey, and it shows heart and courage if you don’t rush to block this stuff but instead make it into a game.
   
   Reflect on what the critic said as a way to go deeper into your work and teach it with more certainty. Use it to build a stronger counter-argument…or build more tolerance for those who disagree with your views.

   
   

2. SELF RESPECT. If you respect yourself you won’t feed into dishonorable comments. Your boundaries will be too elegant to worry about hate, argue with it, debate it, or try to placate it. You will simply detach from it.

   
   You’ll embody the queen archetype. (or king for men) The queen is sovereign- SHE gets to choose who/ what she lets into her courtyards.

   
   The queen does not embrace an angry man charging her castle. She doesn’t entertain the village idiot’s rants. She doesn’t invite raging peasant men into her most secret chambers. She doesn’t knight the man who tries to prove, she knights the one who wants to serve.
   
   Yes, she has tons of protection and secret rooms to retreat to, carriages to transport her to safer places, powerful horses to ride on, and a community of kings, knights and warriors protecting her.
   
   As women, we can have the same with our online spaces and communication. We can disengage any man who disrespects our queenly heart.
   
   (Men, you can apply the ‘king’ archetype here too to your online space/ kingdom)

Each time we choose respect, detachment, and ‘no’ we are opening our gates to those who DO resonate with our message, and re-designing the foundation of our brand to hold and serve clients better.

Thanks for reading :)

I help people access more power, worth and self respect via the Gene Keys and transformational 1-1 coaching. You can learn more HERE.