First, THANK YOU for being here and investing some of your time in my substack- I see a lot of new subscribers here and my heart is grateful!🙏😊
Today I want to share some breakthroughs about codependency:
In the gene keys, codependency is a shadow frequency that can evolve into the light frequency of sacrifice and it holds within it the gift of sensitivity.
A lot of us think needy/ clingy people are overly sensitive. But actually needy/clingy folks are insensitive.🤯
Codependent people don’t have enough bandwidth in their heart/ mind/ nervous system to generate sensitivity toward their partner. This leads to so much mistrust that sacrifice is impossible.
How ironic that codependency actually isolates us from one another!
To rise above codependency into healthy interdependency, both people must put positive energy into their own self care + the THIRD THING that each other’s 2 combined energies create. (Hello alchemy!)
I’m talking about union as an entity!
If we are conscious of union as an alchemical entity while maintaining a sense of individuality, we can actually create something of value with another person instead of burning out on romance and fantasy.
To be union-conscious requires us to evolve past neediness.
Neediness pulls on the other person and expects them to supply the light.
Neediness collapses the structure, drains energy from the union and creates nothing….
Neediness fixates on trying to supply all the light- giving into the other person as if they are the only purpose. The other person may just take the energy and run, not give back, or give back transactionally (hello covert agreements!)
Our selflessness only has a true return when it gives to the ‘we,’ and the giving must come from a healthy independence.
To sum up:
In order to love higher than codependency there has to be:
awareness of the shadow behaviors of neediness and the isolation it creates
sensitivity that does not come from neediness but comes from individuating and witnessing the other person with detachment
awareness of the third thing your energy generates with the person (union)
The relationship must be its own entity whose health you can assess
Your independence must lead to healthy INTERDEPENDENCE and you cannot shortcut to interdependence via neediness
Giving comes from freedom, not covert agreement
Thoughts??
xo,
Tara
PS: I’m now offering kingmaking coaching for men. You can message me for more info.
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